Less Habit, More Intend

Because why not. Yet it is easier to act out of a habit pattern and we often like the easy side of things, or?

There is nothing as comforting as stepping out on the balcony in the early morning, holding my mug of coffee in my hands and then breathing in the cold late autumn air. Between the trees, I see dozens of pigeons holding a meeting near a rubbish bin in the park. Suddenly they seem to be hit by some invisible force, shoot up into the air and circle around the church tower. It feels like stepping into a Gesamtkunstwerk, especially when the soft chirps of the birds are tickling my eardrums. I’ve been doing this for a couple of mornings now and I have to confess, if this is a habit then I’m pretty happy with it.

Keep the good habits and get rid of the bad, where to draw the line? I’m in a bit of a weird position as often I find a certain habit helpful for a while. Eventually a feeling sneaks in, telling me to better abandon that very habit in order to explore further ways of enjoying life aka chasing after my dreams. If I resist, my lovely habit feels stained. It seems as if the world is slapping my face and kicking me from behind, saying “Forward it is, always and constantly, no stand still”. What usually follows is me stumbling upon new methods by trial and error. In the best cases those new methods just appear out of nowhere.

Perhaps I could avoid those slaps and kicks by discovering the pattern of things, kind of like lying on a surfboard looking over my shoulder and see the wave coming. What exactly should I focus on because honestly that is a bit wishy washy at times. Not sure how you chase after your dreams but for me it’s easy to loose focus, aligning the daily actions towards that big giant mountain? They all say it is the journey that counts and I hold the belief that the journey should be pleasant, wouldn’t you agree? Maybe that’s where I take the wrong turn, hoping for the best and unrealistically assuming the world is black and white.

If I am completely honest to myself, I know I am on the right path. There is a voice which knows where to go, quite like the tunnel in the above video. It seems that I don’t even have too much voice at times, the attraction to the centre is so strong. During my progress I feel like a passenger sitting in a train, starring out the window and seeing the world pass by. It is beautiful and I would love to climb up that castle which turns up in the distance. What is the point though, I had made up my mind to get on this train to destination XYZ.

Yet how do you know that the decision you took was meant to lead you to the castle?

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